Tijuana Bibles

Clark Gabel in The Shiek


"Clark Gabel" escorts Mr. Goldcrap's wife to the opera. Better put "escorts her to the opera" in euphemistic quotes.


Probably a contemporary (40-50's?) copy.


The Clark Gabel drawn here resembles the star only in that they both might have a mustache. Valentino was "The Shiek," so the title gives no clues. Maybe this was poking fun of one of Gabel's real-life affairs. If you have a guess, email me.






Page 1

Mr. Goldcrap: Clark, would you mind taking Mrs. Goldcrap to the opera tonight? I was called out of town.
Mrs Goldcrap: Teehee
Clark: Not at all, Mr. Goldcrap. It will be a pleasure (I hope!)

Page 2

Clark: What the hell?
Mrs. Goldcrap: Oh I think it would be nicer if we just stayed here and talked, don't you? I dismissed all the servants so we could be alone.

Page 3

Clark: Hmm, say that's some opening you have there, baby. Looks as if ol' man Goldcrap might fall in and get lost.
Missus: Tee-hee-- he did lose his false teeth in there one time!

Page 4

Missus: O-o-o-o-- that's a nice big one! Gee hurry and put it in-- tee-hee!
Clark: Say you must have been itching for a lay, honey. Can't the old man do you any good??

Page 5

Clark: How's that feel, baby, huh?
Missus: Oh daddy, oh daddy, it sure hits the spot. O-o-o-o-o you mean that little fart of a husband I got--

Page 6

Missus: Naw, he can't even get a stiff up any more. He likes to kiss it--
Clark: U-m-m hot dog-- wiggle your ass a little baby I going to give you a good one--

Page 7

Missus: Oh Oh Hold me tight-- squeeze my titties-- kiss me-- Oh-h-h here I come -- um m m m...

Page 8

Clark: Say, this titty fucking idea is all your own, kid. If you get a face full of starch down your mouth don't blame me!

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